Sullivan & Guzman

The purpose of this document is to set forth in writing how a divorce proceeds procedurally, your substantive rights and obligations, the psychological impacts of a divorce, and other important matters. Some of these we discussed in our prior conferences. Much of the information may be difficult at best to understand in one session. Accordingly, I have attempted to summarize our discussions as more specifically set forth below.

There are generally four steps involved in a divorce.

The First Step

The First step in preparing for a divorce is the processing of the paperwork. This generally includes preparation of the following pleadings.

(1) Summons;

(2) Petition;

(3) Order to Show Cause pleadings for the purpose of requesting relief at the first hearing;

(4) Temporary Restraining Orders;

(5) Declarations;

(6) Income and Expense Declaration;

(7) Response, if appropriate; and

(8) Responsive declaration to Order to Show Cause, if appropriate.

Following our first meeting, we generally prepare all necessary paperwork in order to either initiate the processing of the divorce or to respond to the Petition for Dissolution. The pleadings are then generally served upon the other party. The purpose of the service "starts the clock ticking". Once the pleadings are served upon the other party, the final Judgment of Dissolution can be granted, at the earliest, six (6) months from the date of service. The purpose of the 6-month waiting period is to encourage reconciliation between the spouses, and if in fact a reconciliation occurs during this period, kindly contact our offices and we will see that all paperwork is stopped. Additionally, if you would like a referral for counseling to reconcile the marriage, we will be happy to refer you to qualified counselors. Although we limit our practice to family law, we do not encourage divorces.

The Second Step

After the pleadings have been drafted and served, the next step is the order to show cause, the initial hearing. Generally, the following issues are addressed:

(1) Spousal Support;

(2) Child Support;

(3) Child Custody and Visitation;

(4) Restraining Orders;

(5) Use of the Residence;

(6) Joinder of any pension plans;

(7) Request for attorney's fees and costs, and;

(8) Any other miscellaneous relief which may be necessary in order to maintain the stability for the benefit of the parties and children.

The first hearing will usually occur within twenty-five (25) days of the date the pleadings are initially filed with the court, absent any continuances. At this hearing, the attorneys will argue the case, and the court generally will not take testimony at this time. If custody or visitation is an issue, the parties will have attended Family Court Services for mediation. The recommendation of the counselor will be submitted to the court for review.

The purpose of the hearing is to maintain the status quo, to ensure the children and the supported spouse have sufficient financial resources to maintain the necessities of life, and to balance between households a common standard of living.

The Third Step

The third step involved in a dissolution of marriage is generally the discovery phase. This often includes the taking of depositions. A deposition is generally conducted in our conference room or the offices of the opposing counsel. A court reporter is present. At this time, I will be asking questions of your spouse for the following purposes:

(1) To secure information;

(2) To solidify testimony so it may not be changed at future hearings or trial;

(3) To obtain necessary documentation to adequately present your case; and

(4) For the purpose of evaluating witnesses.

After the deposition, many times subpoenas are sent out to verify the information obtained at the deposition.

By the time the first three steps are completed, the emotional involvement of the parties has generally subsided to the level where many cases are in fact resolved by settlement. We will then formulate a settlement offer for the purpose of resolving the case in total. If the settlement offer is accepted, or amendments thereto are agreeable to all parties, a settlement agreement will be prepared. No offer of settlement will be made without your knowledge. The settlement agreement essentially indicates which assets will be allocated to the Wife, and which assets will be allocated to the Husband. It will address the issues of custody and visitation, together with support and all other matters. The settlement agreement is filed with the San Diego Superior Court in the form of a binding Court Order.

The Fourth Step

If the matter cannot be resolved by stipulation the matter will proceed to the fourth step, which is trial. If the trial is expected to be shorter than three hours, it will be placed on what is called the "short-cause" calendar. The San Diego Superior Court hears this short-cause calendar on Fridays. You are generally assigned a date for trial within four (4) months from the date on which the trial is requested.

If, however, the case will take longer than three hours, it is set on the "long-cause" calendar. Under this procedure, the San Diego Superior Court will assign you a mandatory settlement conference date approximately six (6) to eight (8) months from the date on which the trial is originally requested. At this mandatory settlement conference, we will be required to meet with a judge or one or two practicing attorneys who limit their practice to family law. These attorneys or the judge will review our settlement conference briefs which we will have prepared in advance, and will review the position of both sides with respect to all issues. They will give a recommendation for the purpose of helping the parties resolve the case. If not resolved, the case will proceed to trial, usually within forty-five (45) days of the settlement conference.

UNCONTESTED DIVORCE

The above-described procedures outline the general steps utilized in a contested divorce proceeding. If in fact you feel this matter is able to be settled from the very beginning, our offices encourage sending out a settlement letter along with the initial pleadings. This provides the other party with an opportunity of addressing the issues in a constructive approach aimed at expeditious settlement. This has the obvious advantage of saving attorney's fees, costs and emotional distress to both parties. If you feel you have inadequate information with which to make an offer of settlement, it is wise to wait until after the discovery procedure before offering settlement.

SUBSTANTIVE RIGHTS AND LIABILITIES IN A DIVORCE

Those assets acquired by you prior to your marriage are usually confirmed to you as your sole and separate property, free and clear of any interest of your spouse. So also are those assets you acquire after the date of separation.

Those assets accumulated by you during the course of the marriage are generally characterized as community property. Community property assets are normally divided equally between the Husband and the Wife. There are certain exceptions as follows:

a. Gifts;

b. Inheritances; and

c. Personal injury awards.

There are considerable exceptions and refinements to the general parameters set forth above which we will be reviewing in this case for the purpose of characterizing and dividing assets.

RESTRAINING ORDERS

Once the Summons and Petition for Dissolution of Marriage have been filed with the San Diego Superior Court the following standard restraining orders which are set forth on the reverse side of the Summons will be in full force and effect. These mutual restraining orders are issued automatically and apply in every case. The restraining orders restrain the parties from:

• a. Removing the minor child or children of the parties, if any, from the state without the prior written consent of the other party or an order of the court;
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• b. Cashing, borrowing against, canceling, transferring, disposing of, orchanging the beneficiaries of any insurance or other coverage including life, health, automobile, and disability held for the benefit of the parties and their minor child or children; and

• c. Transferring, encumbering, hypothecating, concealing, or in any way disposing of any property, real or personal, whether community, quasi-community, or separate, without the written consent of the other party or an order of the court, except in the usual course of business or for the necessities of life.
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You must notify each other of any proposed extraordinary expenditures at least five business days prior to incurring this extraordinary expenditures and account to the court for all extraordinary expenditures made after these restraining orders are effective. However, nothing in the restraining orders shall preclude you from using community property to pay reasonable attorney fees in order to retain legal counsel in the action.

If you have any questions with regard to the meaning of these restraining orders, do not hesitate to contact me.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECTS OF A DIVORCE

Elizabeth Kubler Ross has authored a treatise upon the stages of death and dying. These stages appear to also be felt by most people during the process of a divorce. These stages occur as follows:

a. First Stage: Denial and Isolation;

b. Second Stage: Anger;

c. Third Stage: Bargaining;

d. Fourth Stage: Depression, and;

e. Fifth Stage: Acceptance

Many experts believe spouses in dissolution of marriage proceedings go through the same stages. If true, this process would have a direct effect on the ability of the spouses to communicate with each other. Such communication is required to minimize litigation which is costly financially and emotionally.

For example, a spouse in the second stage of anger communicates with a spouse in the fifth stage of acceptance about as well as if the former understood only English and the latter only Spanish. Consequently, often it takes time for one or both spouses to work through the emotional turmoil of a divorce before they get into a compatible stage where clear communication resides. Accordingly, patience and good judgment is required as to when it is appropriate to embark on settlement discussions.

ESTATE PLANNING

It is critical that a party to a divorce proceeding reconsider his or her estate planning. This would include, by way of illustration, preparing a new will or revoking any power of attorney or trust agreement.

You will also want to consider severing any property held in joint tenancy between you and your spouse. The feature of joint tenancy is right of survivorship, which means if one spouse dies, the other spouse by operation of law succeeds to total ownership of the property even if the decedent had a Will to the contrary. For example, if you die, your spouse would become full owner of all property held in joint tenancy, regardless of the terms of your Will. Of course, the same is true if your spouse dies.

The estate planning attorneys we refer clients to are Karen Black 619-745-2900 or Dorothy Cole 619-745-6313. Please call one of these attorneys or any other attorney you choose in connection with your estate planning needs.

EPSTEIN CREDITS

There are many ways in which you can help. One such way is to keep your files well organized to support "Epstein Credits" you may be entitled to. Debts that exist as of the date of separation ("DOS") are generally community debts regardless of which party incurred them. On the other hand, income earned by either party after the DOS is that person's separate property. To the extent income earned after the DOS (therefore separate income) is utilized to pay community debts, then with certain exceptions, you would be entitled to reimbursement at the time of the division of community property. This reimbursement is defined as an "Epstein Credit". It is helpful to think of it as separate property being used to pay community debts.

In order to prove these credits, you need to keep copies of the bills showing the amount of the indebtedness close to the date of separation, with monthly statements thereafter, and the canceled checks that are used to make payments following the DOS. You would then be in a position to fill in the "Epstein" Chart.

An additional "accounting" problem arises when charges on a joint account are made after the date of separation. The problem is the allocation of the interest assessed against the separate charges as distinguished from the community charges is very difficult if not impossible to determine. The same problem arises when charges and subsequent payments after the date of separation occur. Frequently, the Judge in your matter will arbitrarily allocate the interest between the community and separate debt. So as to void this problem, it is best to make charges after the date of separation on accounts which have no community obligations outstanding.

JOINT CREDIT CARDS (community property vs. contract law)

Consistent with the foregoing, debt incurred after the date of separation is the separate obligation of the incurring spouse under community property law. A different wrinkle under contract law is added when such a debt is incurred on a joint credit card.

Under such circumstances, both spouses are jointly and severally liable of the obligation under the contract they signed at the time the joint credit card was issued. This means while a debt incurred against a joint credit card by one of the spouses is the separate obligation of that spouse under community property law, under contract law if the spouse incurring the debt does not pay it. In short, consider very carefully whether you want to cancel joint credit cards and credit lines.

CONCLUSION

Our basic philosophy with respect to family law matters is to attempt to resolve all matters in a fair, reasonable and well-informed manner for the benefit of our clients. We have found our clients are most satisfied when they can resolve the issues by means of settlement, thereby taking control of their own destiny, rather than laying their lives before a court which has limited time to consider all the important aspects of one's life.

Family law matters are handled on an hourly basis only.  The overall amount of any divorce is based on the amount of time required to bring the case to Judgment. As the old adage states; "Time is Money" and it holds most true in Divorce matters.  The amount of time is based mainly upon the following factors:

The nature and amount of conflict. The more emotional conflict and fighting involved between the parties, the more it is going to costs.

The complexity of the issues involved. Custody and visitation disputes involve the most amount of time.

The methodology selected to resolve your disputes. Depending on the amount of conflict and the nature of your case, there is a fee structure for you:

When you are ready to contact our offices, please call (858) 451-9390 and ask to book an initial consultation with Attorney Sullivan. The first twenty minutes of the consultation are free to you and are an educational time devoted to informing you of your options based on your particular situation and needs.

We accept all major credit cards as well as personal checks.

¹Based on complexity of issues and nature and degree of amount of conflict.

The dissolution of a marriage often brings financial worries to compound an emotional crisis. Dissolving a marriage can be expensive and most clients are understandably concerned about the costs involved. The emotional crisis which you may be experiencing can aggravate your financial situation if you permit it to increase your attorney's fees. However, you are capable of keeping your fees at a minimum by following these simple guidelines:

(a) Remember the high cost of telephone calls. As a general rule, call the staff member assigned to your case first. If legal advice or intervention is needed immediately, he or she is trained to recognize it and will know what steps to take, but you will find that most often the staff member is capable of handling the problem or answering your questions immediately. It may be helpful for you to keep personal notes regarding questions that enter your mind. Reserve your telephone call until you have thought about what it is you really need to know on more than one issue.

(b) Remember that our services are primarily legal. Certainly, unless I understand the nature of your interaction with your spouse, I cannot represent you as well as I might. Also, unless decisions which could ultimately be extremely costly to you. For those reasons, I will spend some time with you exploring this interaction, especially at the beginning of the case. From what you tell me, I may be able to point your sharing your experiences and problems with me may fail to generate a return worth the added costs that will appear on your monthly statement.

(c) Participate as effectively as you can in your own case. Your time will be less expensive to you than ours. Therefore, we will request that you obtain and organize as much of the information and documents for your case as possible, consistent with its proper and expeditious handling. For example, you may receive a "Demand for Documents" containing a long list of documents which must be provided to the opposing party. If you simply bring us a confusing, unorganized mass of various documents, I will assign a paralegal or a law clerk to organize them, but you will pay the full hourly rate for these services. You are far more familiar than we are with your documents and will know which documents you are producing in response to which demand. Any questions you have regarding the method of organization will gladly be answered by my staff, and this is one area in which you can save yourself considerable fees.

(d) Keep your case documents organized. This office will provide you with copies of all documents we prepare or receive in your case, on a regular basis. Organize the correspondence and legal papers involved in one file or a binder and bring them to all conferences and hearings. In this way, you have your own set of documents to refer to.

We will do our best to explain the progress of your case each step of the way. However, should you not understand the why or where-fore of our handling of your case, ask for clarification immediately. Delay will only hamper communication between us and require more time to clarify the matter for you later. You may also visit our Blog "Best Divorce Dictionary" for help in  understanding or clarifying the language of the divorce process.

(e) Be Responsive and precise in your communication. When information is requested of you or some action is required on your part, follow the directions of your attorney and respond as quickly as possible. Your delay can be costly in that it will require follow-up action on the part of my staff or myself. Remember, if you require prodding, you are paying for that attention.

(f) Think positively toward the settlement of your case. I can hardly remember a case where the Husband and Wife had the same memory as to the understandings with respect to their acquisition of assets and numerous other matters. There will be many disputes as to what the agreements were and perhaps some as to what the law is in these areas. I cannot give you percentages of probability of outcomes, nor can I guarantee any single result in the case. For that reason, and because judges often dispose of cases in ways which disappoint both parties, it is almost always best to settle a case if one can obtain a fair settlement. Therefore, as soon as we have enough information to understand what is at issue, I will seek your authority to negotiate a settlement. A trial is the most costly route to the dissolution of your marriage.

The joint sharing of responsibilities for child-rearing after the dissolution of marriage creates a challenge to one's thinking about parenting. You must examine your role and the role of your former spouse from a new perspective, which includes developing rules, living patterns, values and even vocabulary appropriate for the new situation.

While it is true that many children after a dissolution remain in regular contact with both parents, traditionally one parent was awarded custody and the other parent was the visiting or non-custodial parent. Today, many parents opt for a co-parenting arrangement, also referred to as joint custody. In this type of arrangement the child spends a considerable amount of time with both parents and the parents continue to share the responsibility for raising the child. The time allotments may vary considerably from a true 50/50 arrangement based upon specific scheduling and educational needs of the family members, the age of the child, special circumstances involved in your case, and the interest level of each parent in the continuation of a close, bonded relationship with the child. The critical factors are: EACH PARENT HAS A HOME, AND EACH CHILD HAS TWO HOMES. There are, in essence, two families.

You may ask how two people who have decided they do not want to share their lives together can work together to be effective parents. It all begins with the basic commitment of each parent to remain an active figure in the life of their child. This means separating the role of parenting from the past role of lover and spouse and creating a new, workable parenting relationship in the wake of the dissolution of the old relationship. THE NEW PARENTING RELATIONSHIP MAY BEST BE VIEWED AS A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP. Agreements that may have been implicit in the lover/spouse relationship such as, "If you are ill, I will pick the children up from school", now become explicit agreements, or even written contracts. There must be no assumption that your ex-spouse will be there as a support to help you in troubled times with the children. The former sharing of private thoughts and personal occurances now must change to the extension of formal courtesies, respective of each other's right to privacy.

GOOD COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL. Effective communication requires the ability to listen as well as to share.  In order to jointly parent your child you must be able to communicate effectively regarding the decisions which affect all of you, such as the child-sharing schedule, child-care needs, educational plans, religious training, extra¬curricular activities and transportation arrangements, etc. Each parent must feel comfortable in stating his or her opinion and each must respect the opinion of the other. Reserve your communication regarding the parenting plan to those issues actually involving your co-parenting. If you allow your anger and dissatisfaction over the things that led to the breakdown of your marital relationship to interfere in your parenting communication. This may be the most challenging part of being effective co-parents, but working on improving your communication will be essential to your success.

THERE MUST BE A COMMITMENT TO CONSISTENCY in those areas where consistency is required to serve the best interests of the children. This usually involves issues of health, education and community activities. For example, if your child is in a program of orthodontic treatment each parent must ensure that the child is consistently practicing the prescribed oral care, wearing of retainers, and the like. When the children are involved in extracurricular activities, like a team sport, each parent must be committed to taking the responsibility for getting them to practices and games.

DO NOT MAKE PAWNS OF THE CHILDREN. The time spent by the children at the home of either parent is not to be used as a propaganda session. Children must not be forced to convey messages between parents that the parents will not tell each other personally. Do not involve the children in disputes regarding the dissolution process. It is important that the children feel that they will be safe, loved, and accepted by each parent and that each parent accepts that the children love the other parent as well.

FLEXIBILITY IS IMPORTANT. Even in the best of business arrangements, with all the proper agreements and the good intentions of carrying them out, the parents must be willing to remain flexible. Complicated choices may arise in areas regarding the children's activities or the scheduling needs of the parents due to employment. Situations arise that require changes in plans. When the parents have the willingness to work toward the common goal, these things can all be arranged.

THERE MUST BE COOPERATION AND SUPPORT from relatives, friends, and "significant others" or new spouses. Even with the best intentions of both parents to build a new relationship based solely on the parenting needs of the children, new spouses or "significant others" may view the ex-spouse as an implied threat. Grandparents, angry about the dissolution, may feel that the ex-son or daughter-in-law isn't a good parent, anyway, and actively advocate that their son or daughter seek full physical custody of the children. Friends, in an effort to be protective, may advocate leaving the entire situation behind (and the ex-spouse, too). Negative comments made by other people about the ex-spouse can be very upsetting to the children. The point is, when you and your ex-spouse are each truly committed to sharing in the lives of your children, you must make this commitment known and understood by those with whom you and the children have contact. While you and your spouse may have chosen to "divorce" each other, chances are that your children have no desire to leave either of you, or the significant others in their lives.

In the event that you and your spouse need assistance in working out the details of your co-parenting arrangement, the Superior Court provides Family Counseling Services. We will also be pleased to provide you with the names of individuals and agencies in private practice, if you wish to seek private counseling.

CODE OF CONDUCT FOR VISITATION

Children are often the losers when their parents separate. They are deprived of full time guidance and direction from two parents. The moral, spiritual and character growth of your children may consequently suffer.

Although there may be bitterness between you, it should not be inflicted upon your children. Every child needs an image of two good parents. Your conduct with your children in the future will be very helpful to them. Please follow through with these simple suggestions:

1.         Leave your children free to love and respect both parents. Discussing the shortcomings of the other parent with the children can be extremely harmful to them.

2.         Your visitation is for and with your children. Be discreet; don't include a member of the opposite sex with whom you maybe involved in your visits.

3.         Do not use visitations as an excuse to continue arguments with the other parent.

4.         Do not visit your children if you are intoxicated.

5.         Visit the children at reasonable hours.

6.         Notify the other parent as soon as possible if you are unable to keep your visit, as this is unfair to the children who will be expecting you. Be adults and work out another reasonable time.

7.         Make your visits as pleasant as possible with your children by showing your interest in their activities and avoiding questions regarding the activities of the other parent. Do not make promises to them you cannot keep.

8.         The parent having physical custody must prepare the children for the visit and have them available at the agreed upon time.

9.         If one parent's plan for the children conflicts with the other's visitation and they are for the best interest of the children, be adults and work this out together.

10.       ALWAYS WORK FOR THE WELL BEING, HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND SAFETY OF YOUR CHILDREN.

11.       If the matter of visitation comes before the court, again, and you have not abided by the above suggestions, your custody and visitation rights may have been jeopardized.

CHILD CARE CREDIT

If both of you and your spouse work while someone cares for your dependents, you may be in line for a special tax break. It's commonly called the "child care credit".

How do you qualify for the child care credit? You must incur dependent care expenses that allow you and your spouse to be "gainfully employed". The credit is available for the care of a child under age 13 or a disabled dependent or spouse. So the "child care credit" isn't necessarily limited to expenses for the care of children.

Example: If your spouse is laid up with a back injury, the cost of having a helper around the house may be eligible for the credit.

What does "gainfully employed" mean? It does not necessarily mean that both you and your spouse have to work full-time. You still can get the credit if one of you works full-time and the other is either (1) a part-time worker or (2) a full-time student.

How much of a credit are you entitled to? That depends. The credit is 30% if your adjusted gross income is $10,000 or less. It is reduced by 1% for each $2,000 that your adjusted gross income increases. Then it stops at 20% for adjusted gross incomes of more than $28,000.

In other words, if your adjusted gross income exceeds $28,000, your credit is 20%.

The credit generally is available for the first $2,400 of child care expenses for one child; the first $4,800 for two or more children. Result: the maximum credit is $720 for one child; $1,440 for two or more children. If your adjusted gross income exceeds $28,000, your maximum credit is $480 and $960, respectively.

Keep this in mind: This is a credit rather than a deduction. A credit is more valuable than a deduction. For instance, the deduction equivalent of a $960 credit for an individual in the 28% tax bracket would be $3,428!

What sort of expenses are eligible for the child care credit? In general, they can be broken down between in-home costs and out-of-home costs.

In-home costs: the cost of a baby-sitter who comes to your house is eligible for the credit. The baby-sitter even can be a close relative (e.g., one of your parents or in-laws). However, the relative can't be someone you claim as a dependent - say, one of your older children who lives at home or where the relative is the tax payer's child under age 19.

Example: Your elderly parents watch your children a few days during the week while you and your spouse work. In turn, you help out your parents by paying some of their monthly bills. Instead of paying the bills, consider paying your parents for their child care services instead. Reason: the dollars you contribute to your parent's support do you no tax good if you can't claim them as your dependents. But the amount spent on child care may qualify for the credit. Of course, you must pay your parents a reasonable fee for the services actually rendered.

Another point: If you have a housekeeper or a maid who watches your children in addition to performing other household services, the entire salary of the worker counts toward the credit even though child care is only part of the job. However, the worker must provide in-house services (e.g., you can't claim the credit for a gardener's services).

Out-of-home costs: If you take your child to the baby-sitter's home, the cost also qualifies for the credit. Other eligible expenses include the cost of nursery school, a day care center or a similar-type operation.

What happens if you send a child to summer camp? Under the new Revenue Act, the credit is no longer available for the cost of sending a child to overnight camp. However, the cost of day camp still may qualify.

Note: Your eligible child care expenses can't exceed the lesser of (1) your earnings for the year or (2) your spouse's earnings. If either one of you is physically or mentally incapable of caring for himself or is a full-time student, the law assumes an earned income - for each month of disability or school attendance of $200 for one child or $400 for two or more children.

Also, a divorced or legally separated taxpayer having custody of a disabled or under-age-13 child will be entitled to the credit even though he or she has release the right to a dependency exemption for the child or is not entitled to the exemption under the terms of a pre-1985 divorce decree or settlement agreement (Code Sec. 21(e)).

An additional "accounting" problem arises when charges on a joint account are made after the date of separation. The problem is the allocation of the interest assessed against the separate charges as distinguished from the community charges is very difficult if not impossible to determine. The same problem arises when charges and subsequent payments after the date of separation occur. Frequently, the Judge in your matter will arbitrarily allocate the interest between the community and separate debt. So as to void this problem, it is best to make charges after the date of separation on accounts which have no community obligations outstanding.

JOINT CREDIT CARDS (community property vs. contract law)

Consistent with the foregoing, debt incurred after the date of separation is the separate obligation of the incurring spouse under community property law. A different wrinkle under contract law is added when such a debt is incurred on a joint credit card.

Under such circumstances, both spouses are jointly and severally liable of the obligation under the contract they signed at the time the joint credit card was issued. This means while a debt incurred against a joint credit card by one of the spouses is the separate obligation of that spouse under community property law, under contract law if the spouse incurring the debt does not pay it. In short, consider very carefully whether you want to cancel joint credit cards and credit lines.

CONCLUSION

Our basic philosophy with respect to family law matters is to attempt to resolve all matters in a fair, reasonable and well-informed manner for the benefit of our clients. We have found our clients are most satisfied when they can resolve the issues by means of settlement, thereby taking control of their own destiny, rather than laying their lives before a court which has limited time to consider all the important aspects of one's life.

Why is this so much of a problem?  Although you know what you purchased the furniture for, you also realize that it depreciates rather rapidly after you leave the store with it.  Neither of the parties, and neither attorney, has any real idea of the value of the items.  If you ask a used furniture man to come into your house and give you a "lot" sale value, he'll probably give you two cents on the dollar.  If you take the items, piece by piece, and sell them at a garage sale, you will probably achieve a value somewhat near the fair market value of these items.  But, who wants to go to this trouble, when each party is going to have to have some of these items to "start-up" again?

So, what shall we do?

1.         List each and every item of household effects, furnishings and appliances.  Make two complete lists.  One list of the items that are in your possession and one list of the items that are in your spouse's possession.  Don't list every pot and pan, etc. unless there are some exceptionally expensive items.  Usually these are simply listed as "cooking utensils".  You may, however, want to list the power appliances used in the kitchen.

2.         After each item, set a value.  What value do you place after the item?  The value at which you would either be willing to take the item (as a credit against you share of the community property), or give the item to your spouse.  In short, let's say you are trying to set down a value for a refrigerator.  If you put down $200, then this means two things: (a) You will be willing to accept the refrigerator for a charge against your share of the community assets for $200, or (b) you will be willing to give the refrigerator to your spouse for exactly that price, for a charge against his or her share of the community property.  For example, you are in a position to avoid all argument.  Your position is; "Look, this is the price.  I'll take it at this price, or you can have it at this price.  I'm not arguing whether the price is fair."  This means that you don't make the mistake of valuing the refrigerator at only $50 because you think you're going to get it.  If the court should award the refrigerator to your spouse, you would not be very happy.  Accordingly, you value each item as a "give or take" price.

3.         If, for some unforeseen reason this doesn't work, there are some other alternatives:

(a)  Sell all the furniture and appliances and divide the proceeds;

(b)  Make a list of all items of household effects, furnishings and appliances.  Flip a coin to see who goes first, and then alternately you and your spouse choose one item from the list.  By this method, the items are approximately evenly divided;

(c)  You and your spouse bid on each item.  Let's say that we are concerned, again, with the refrigerator.  You may bid $100, and your spouse may bid $200, and you make no further bid.  In that case, your spouse gets the refrigerator and is credited with $200 towards his or her share of the community estate.  The figures, after the bidding procedure, are then totaled up, and then it can be determined if one party owes the other party something, because of an unequal division.

4.         At any rate, if your original values on a "give or take it basis" are good, we can probably avoid the alternate procedures set forth in paragraph (3) above.  Moreover, if your original figures are good, I'll guarantee you that the attorney's fees for this divorce will be considerably less than if we have to go to court and fight over each item.

I would like you to know at the outset, that if we end up going to trial over the issue of valuing household effects, furnishings and appliances, the court will require that we have appraisers come in to testify, which will also run up the costs of your case.

One final note:  In cases where children are involved, please consider their furniture, toys, bicycles, camping equipment and other sports equipment to be theirs.  Those items should go with the children, and whichever party has custody of the children would not be charged with the value of those items.